Rated S for Sacreligious

I went to see The DaVinci Code yesterday and I have to say it was a pretty good movie. You might have heard about the crappy reviews given out before the film was released. While by no means a classic of cinema, it admirably holds up to the hype and satisfies that summer blockbuster itch everyone gets about this time. You have to remember, all the negative press surrounding this movie was coming from two groups. The first being religious groups who feared that it would brainwash their congregations (or re-brainwash, depending on how you look at it). These are probably the same people who thought that The Life of Brian was the work of Satan. "Yes! We've all got to think for ourselves! Tell us more!" The second round of bad reviews stemmed from its screening at the Cannes Film Festival. These people pride themselves on their snobbery. Of course a big budget Hollywood film like this will be snubbed. Unless Michael Moore produces it and it stars two gay cowboys, the audience at Cannes will throw their lattes at the screen and leave with a disgruntled "Harumph!" Slap all that together with the fact that it was a movie based on the book (and the book is "always better than the movie") and you end up with a form of entertainment ripe for criticism. Personally, I thought that the film stayed true to the book in almost all aspects. The only significant changes I noticed were some chronological liberties taken in the name of pacing. Even though the story takes place over the course of two days, the history that needs to be explained spans two millenea. There's a lot of unspoken text in the book that has to be vocalized in the movie so the audience can receive the necessary exposition. My hat is off to the screenwriter for keeping all that lively. I never felt like I was sitting through a lecture on ancient religion and politics. Consequently, I don't own a hat. One major differfence that I noticed, which I believe can be attributed to the pressure of the religious right, was the exchange between Ian McKellen and Tom Hanks in Teabing's study. In the book, the two characters are complimenting each other and in agreement on most points. In the movie, Tom Hanks' character repeatedly tries to marginalize the conspiracy theory central to the novel's plot. As if people would be so gullible as to believe that everything being spoken was the Gospel according to Dan Brown. Final word: Don't believe what you hear on Fox News. This movie is definently worth seeing. Just make sure you see it in a theater that doesn't forget to insert the final reel into the projector. Yeah, happened to me, right at one of the crucial moments in the film. Didn't bother me none, but man oh man, were the local yokels pissed!

All In The Family

An episode of Cops aired today that left me almost rolling on the floor in laughter. Laughter and pity. You see, they were in Kansas City, Kansas responding to a domestic disturbance. Big ol' lady comes waddling down the stairs wearing nothing but a football jersey and a bloody nose. Two guys, one black, one white, both pot-bellied and shirtless mind you, are standing with her trying to calm her down. A third "gentleman" is being cuffed. The woman is fiercely arguing with the police to let the apprehended man loose. She swears up and down that the broken nose is just due to her falling down, or running into a wall, or a meteor fell from space and onto her noggin. Whatever excuse her whiskey-fueled brain can come up with is pouring out of her mouth. Turns out that the guy and the girl are first-cousins. It also turns out that he punched her in the face for sleeping with another guy ... BESIDES HIMSELF! That's right, he hit his cousin for cheating on him. She didn't want him to go to jail because she didn't want to have to call his mom, HER AUNT, and tell her what's been going on! As soon as the cops realized this, there was nothing but blank stares and silence for a good 15 seconds. Greatest line before cutting to commercial? "There's something about that that just ain't right." I wonder how Andy Griffith would have handled this situation in Mayberry.

X-Men 3 "Things Blowed Up Good"

I saw X-Men 3 the other night. From what I've been reading on the Web-net, people either love it or hate it. I'm going to try and play Switzerland on this issue and straddle the fence. It was a good movie, but it was a bad X-Men movie. For the most part, I never felt bored with the film. They threw enough explosions and super-powered destruction on the screen to satisfy any action fan. As an added bonus, I got to see Rebecca Romijn in all her natural glory. That alone was worth the price of admission. Speaking of which, I got in for free because my viewing of The Da Vinci Code was ruined by "Projector Operation Error." So, I might be more forgiving than if I had paid $10. But not THAT forgiving. There were some serious plot and continuity errors that really handicapped this movie. First of all, Wolverine cries WAY TOO MUCH! This guy is supposed to be a self-reliant loner who periodically reaches the pinnacle of untamed rage and aggression. Why, then, is he doubled over in tears in no less than three scenes? There's character progression, and then there's complete departure from source material. On the same note, they completely ignored Juggernaut's half-brother relationship to Professor X. His helmet does not "keep his face pretty." It serves the same purpose as Magneto's helmet and keeps Xavier out of his head. I liked the Professor's death scene, but why do Magneto and Jugernaut keep wearing their protective helmets after Xavier's demise? They couldn't possibley know the "truth", could they? They kill off Cyclopse way too early and way too vaguely. I know he wasn't anybody's favorite character, but he was still a major part of the X-Men and I thought he deserved better than to have an off-camera pseudo-death. Seriously, I kept expecting him to show up until half-way through the film when I completely forgot he was in the movie. Speaking of which, there were a lot of those "What happened to So-and-So" moments. Just insert a mutant's name for So-and-So (although I wouldn't put it past Stan Lee to just name a character that) and you'll have the question that popped up repeatedly in the theater. Nightcrawler, Rogue, Angel, Colosus, Leech; they all sort of migrate in and out of the picture without an explanation as to why we haven't seen them for 20 scenes. Lastly, the ending was disappointing. I don't have a problem with Wolverine killing Jean ... if it NEEDED to be done. There were over a thousand Cure weapons laying around. They stabbed Magneto with them, why not Jean? Or how bout this: the X-Men had freed the kid from the lab, right? Why not just run him up to her and cancel out her disintigrating rampage? Final verdict: worth watching, but it won't satisfy those who are expecting it to hold true to the X-Men story. Hopefully, the inevitable forth movie will redeem it. P.S. I wanted Sentinals, dammit! Not just a torn off Sentinal head.